Things I Now Know, Saints Playing Poker, and What's Cookin'
Welcome to the last Wednesday of May.
Truly, if March was a decade, the past two months have been mere seconds. Starting to understand Psalm 90:4 a bit more.
Some Things I've Learned
I had family in town the past few days, and while I really enjoyed the time they were here, their presence did not provide me any hashtag content. So to pad the opening of this (probably short but who knows) newsletter, here are some things I've learned over the past week:
1. Tom Brady, former Patriots and now Buccaneers quarterback, is very bad at golf. Except when he's not.
1a. It's fun to watch people who are very good at things be bad at things on national television.
1b. About 6 million people agreed with me, as that's how many watched the Tiger Woods/Peyton Manning v. Tom Brady/Phil Mickelson golf match on Sunday.
2. A donut is not a pastry: I am told that usually pastries are baked, and donuts are fried. I am, as always, open to correction.
3. Brad Keselowski won the Coca-Cola 600, a NASCAR race.
3a. NASCAR is, objectively, not that interesting to watch.
3b. I watched the race anyway.
3c. Sports get much more exciting to watch when you have skin in the game.
3d. Which I did, and specifically in Brad Keselowski, due to the omnifantasy league I'm in. In short: you draft sports teams from a variety of leagues, and get points based on how close they get to their respective championships. It's the most fun I've ever had doing fantasy sports.
3e. It's also getting totally ruined by the pandemic.
4. Sporcle quizzes are incredibly fun.
4a. Especially the music ones.
5. If you listen to too much of an artist (Mac Demarco) that you like in a genre (mellowed out dudes singing about their feelings) that is mostly bad, your Spotify Discover gets real rough.
Suckers, Their Money, and the Saints
In the 1998 classic Rounders, we find a young Matt Damon playing poker to pay his way through law school. One of his old pals, Worm, recently released from jail, has picked up some cheating mechanics through stacking the deck. In reflecting on these new tricks, Damon remarks:
Now, some people might look down on Worm's mechanics, call it immoral. But as Canada Bill Jones said, 'It's immoral to let a sucker keep his money.'
I love this movie, and I love the game of poker. It's also not hard to see how the morality at the poker table (call it honor among thieves) might come into conflict with Catholicism. Here's some of my thoughts on the matter.
As always, let's start with the saints. St. Francis de Sales, from Introduction to the Devout Life:
Dice, cards, and the like games of hazard, are not merely dangerous amusements, like dancing, but they are plainly bad and harmful, and therefore they are forbidden by the civil as by the ecclesiastical law. What harm is there in them? you ask. Such games are unreasonable:--the winner often has neither skill nor industry to boast of, which is contrary to reason. You reply that this is understood by those who play. But though that may prove that you are not wronging anybody, it does not prove that the game is in accordance with reason, as victory ought to be the reward of skill or labour, which it cannot be in mere games of chance.
He continues, on the plight of the gambler:
Is it not an occupation, when a man's mind is kept on the stretch of close attention, and disturbed by endless anxieties, fears and agitations? Who exercises a more dismal, painful attention than the gambler? No one must speak or laugh,--if you do but cough you will annoy him and his companions. The only pleasure in gambling is to win, and this cannot be a satisfactory pleasure, since it can only be enjoyed at the expense of your antagonist.
This seems pretty open and shut. But it's good to remember that we ought to read the saints carefully, and that not every single one of their recommendations applies specifically to us in our state of life. While they are incredibly holy men and women, they too struggled with sin! I do think St. Francis is mostly right here, however.
There's really only one line I disagree with. When you categorize things as "games of chance", in my mind, they ought to be pure games of chance. Think roulette, or slots--you do not control where that ball lands, or where those reels fall. You cannot make any wagers on those games that are wiser than others. But poker doesn't fall under that category. There are elements of chance in poker, of course, but if there can be established professional poker players, who consistently win, year after year, enough to support a family, surely the game is not all chance. In fact, the National Bureau of Economic Research put out a research paper on just this topic. To quote them:
In determining the legality of online poker - a multibillion dollar industry - courts have relied heavily on the issue of whether or not poker is a game of skill. Using newly available data, we analyze that question by examining the performance in the 2010 World Series of Poker of a group of poker players identified as being highly skilled prior to the start of the events. Those players identified a priori as being highly skilled achieved an average return on investment of over 30 percent, compared to a -15 percent for all other players. This large gap in returns is strong evidence in support of the idea that poker is a game of skill.
In my mind, this distances poker from the games that St. Francis is talking about. But that's not the only concern St. Francis has--we still must address the part of the gambler, kept in anxiety the whole time, and only enjoying the game at the expense of someone else. Both these conditions can be easily cleared if the game is for reasonable stakes among friends. I am not sure how widespread this experience is, but I have had many an enjoyable evening sitting around a card table with friends playing for $5 or $10. No one is overly anxious (any more than playing a board or video game), no one goes home down more than $10 or $20. It's a great time for all involved.
To sum up my argument, I'll turn to New Advent, the hallowed Catholic Encyclopedia:
Theologians commonly require four conditions so that gaming may not be illicit.
What is staked must belong to the gambler and must be at his free disposal. It is wrong, therefore, for the lawyer to stake the money of his client, or for anyone to gamble with what is necessary for the maintenance of his wife and children.
The gambler must act freely, without unjust compulsion.
There must be no fraud in the transaction, although the usual ruses of the game may be allowed. It is unlawful, accordingly, to mark the cards, but it is permissible to conceal carefully from an opponent the number of trump cards one holds.
Finally, there must be some sort of equality between the parties to make the contract equitable; it would be unfair for a combination of two expert whist players to take the money of a couple of mere novices at the game.
I think these are perfectly fair conditions. One could make the argument that playing at a casino might violate the first premise if one of your opponents is playing with money not at their free disposal, but I am unsure if the burden would fall on the gambler themselves or the others at the table, should that sentiment be publicly expressed.
In conclusion, poker is fun and okay to play, and if you're hankering for a poker-themed movie, I can't recommend Rounders enough.
Can You Smell....What Hunter.....Is Cooking?
Probably not. But here's some recipes I've made as of late that I've enjoyed!
I've been on a cookie kick, and as such, I'm trying all sorts of new things. First, these Buckeye Brownie Cookies were simple but incredibly rich. The recipe definitely makes a little extra peanut butter mix, but who doesn't want a little peanut butter mix sitting in their freezer for nibbling when they please? These Snickerdoodles were delightful, and I had an extremely hard time eating just a few. I made them twice, they were so good. Last on the cookie front, these Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookies have an incredibly rich and full flavor, especially in the dough. I went with half chocolate chips and half raisins and didn't regret it for a moment.
Lastly, some breakfast items! These Swedish Pancakes are like slightly thicker crepes, with more of a puffed pancake flavor. Add some vanilla to the recipe for a little extra sweetness in the morning. And speaking of puffed pancakes, this Apple Dutch Baby Pancake is to die for. A little syrup and whipped cream on top makes this one of the best breakfasts I've had.
Hope you're all doing well and taking care of yourselves!
In Christ,
Hunter "i should've stopped this bit five newsletters ago" Lantzman